Giving baby a nap - a primer

I realized today that I go through pretty much the same steps every day when it is time to give my son his morning nap. I thought I would share it with others so that they might see that it is nothing like "they" say it is.

1. See baby drooping in high chair after breakfast rubbing eyes.
2. Take baby upstairs to bedroom and lay down on bed with him.
3. Offer baby to nurse since this is pretty much the only way baby goes to sleep for Mommy.
4. See baby's eyes pop wide open and become suddenly wide awake.
5. Struggle to hold baby still so he can fall asleep on the bed in front of the fan instead of making him sleep on his mattress on the floor in the stifling heat.
6. Get frustrated, give up struggling and watch baby crawl off bed and head for Daddy's computer desk.
7. Watch baby pee on floor under Daddy's chair, then proceed to turn off the power strip for Daddy's computer.
8. Get up and remember that baby hates it when you sit at the computer because he always falls asleep there.
9. Pick up baby and turn on computer.
10. Start reading email while holding baby.
11. Pick up mouse and mouse pad that baby just threw on the floor.
12. Pick them up again and try to keep baby on your lap while he squirms to get down and play.
13. Pick them up a third time and put them at the back of the desk, then turn 90 degrees so that baby cannot reach them.
14. Listen to baby scream because he is exhausted and cannot reach the mouse to throw it on the floor, nor can he get down and bang things about.
15. Take baby back to bed and offer to nurse again.
16. Watch baby's eyes fall like lead.
17. Go back and finish reading email.

That's all there is to it, folks. 17 simple steps to get your baby to sleep. After you master these steps, you can skip steps 2 through 8. Ideally, you will figure out some way to skip steps 4-15. Afternoon naps require a bit more creativity since you already checked your email for the morning nap. One option is to save your favorite websites for afternoon nap, if those also make baby sleepy.