28 June 2007

My mental affliction

Originally posted 9/13/06

I was just taking a quiz that contained something along the lines of, "I tell everyone about my mental illness. Agree or disagree?" I said I disagree, as I don't have any mental illnesses. Which reminded me that I had said I would post about my TFYS disease. So here it is.

What is TFYS disease, and how do you know if you have it or not? There are no diagnostics you can run for it, no tests to pass or fail, and no doctor can diagnose it. Some may confuse it with OCD. Symptoms and signs include mild paranoia, obsession, cramps, and isolation. I will address these individually.

Paranoia - this usually manifests as a belief that our government and society may not have our best interests at heart. They may be protecting their own financial interests, or their power over the people, or simply trying to save face by not admitting to being mistaken. The usual foci of the paranoia are the CDC, the FDA, the USDA, the pharmaceutical industry, the Department of Education, the agricultural industry, to name a few.

Obsession - this usually manifests as a desire to find all extant information on a subject before making any decision. Those suffering from this disease can often be seen at the library with stacks of books all on the same subject, or on the internet with heaps of bookmarks on the same subject. These books and bookmarks are often for the less commonly held beliefs and opinions of said subject. They also collect magazines such as Mother Earth News, or Farm and Field.

Cramps - Victims of TFYS often find themselves with cramps, particularly in their hands. This usually stems from signing many waivers or writing out explicit instructions regarding themselves or their children. The more children a sufferer has, the more likely they are to suffer from cramps.

Isolation - Those who suffer from this disease often have very few friends. Their symptoms frighten many people who then tend to stay away from them. They also tend to actively seek isolation, desiring to live in rural areas, often with small farms or homesteads. Their children often do not attend public school, and adults often shy away from things like flu clinics.

These are the most obvious signs and symptoms of Think For YourSelf disease. It is an affliction that can only be self-diagnosed. It is growing in frequency in the United States as well as the rest of the world, and there is no known cure, save perhaps for a head injury that results in a personality change.

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